This video is sort of a subtweet about some art twitter discourse. But I wanted to respond in video form rather than in written form so that you wouldn't misinterpret my words. Also not linking the discourse directly because I don't want to dogpile on the inspiration for my thoughts. But here are three ideas that I wanted to share with artists for us to keep in our brains as we go into the new year.
Lens Choice
March 5, 2019
I guess my update schedule is more TuWednesday when it's the busy season. Colors are coming, I just wanted to get the inks up first. And I might go back and do last week's. It's getting busy around these parts!
So, camera nerds, what lenses would you use to shoot action porn? Or would you ditch an interchangeable lens system altogether and go camcorder or action cam?
JULIE
Today is the day that I see Lance?s penis. I did not expect this to be on my bucket list, but here we are.
LANCE
Sorry.
====
ELLY
Well, we usually do a clothed dry run-through first so I can find my angles. So it?s not necessarily dick-o-clock.
JULIE
That would give me chance to see how everyone moves and figure out how to get them to end up where they need to be.
LANA
Sounds good.
====
ELLY
Hey, check this out. This app lets me preview all these focal lengths so I can choose what lens I want to use for each scene.
JACK
Make sure you use that super wide angle to capture my entire hammer.
ELLY
You don?t know what you?re talking about!
====
ELLY
Wide angle would make his dick all warped and distorted. Like a weird, bloated mushroom if it?s center frame and all stretched and bent weird if it wangs out towards the edges.
JULIE
This seems a lot more complicated than I thought.
====
ELLY
That?s why Lance likes working with me and Lana. We bring a more cinematic style to an industry that has increasingly embraced the inferior production standards of gonzo.
JULIE
You know, I?ve always been rather impressed with Lance?s action scenes. I?ve always skipped his ?wet work,? but the shots I have seen look like they should be seen on the big screen.
====
ELLY
Well, we did try to make a go for it out in LA. No one took us seriously. Always thought we were talent or auditioning for scenes. So we just kinda started our own thing and reached out to performers who don?t really get much representation. And here we are.
JULIE
Today is the day that I see Lance?s penis. I did not expect this to be on my bucket list, but here we are.
LANCE
Sorry.
====
ELLY
Well, we usually do a clothed dry run-through first so I can find my angles. So it?s not necessarily dick-o-clock.
JULIE
That would give me chance to see how everyone moves and figure out how to get them to end up where they need to be.
LANA
Sounds good.
====
ELLY
Hey, check this out. This app lets me preview all these focal lengths so I can choose what lens I want to use for each scene.
JACK
Make sure you use that super wide angle to capture my entire hammer.
ELLY
You don?t know what you?re talking about!
====
ELLY
Wide angle would make his dick all warped and distorted. Like a weird, bloated mushroom if it?s center frame and all stretched and bent weird if it wangs out towards the edges.
JULIE
This seems a lot more complicated than I thought.
====
ELLY
That?s why Lance likes working with me and Lana. We bring a more cinematic style to an industry that has increasingly embraced the inferior production standards of gonzo.
JULIE
You know, I?ve always been rather impressed with Lance?s action scenes. I?ve always skipped his ?wet work,? but the shots I have seen look like they should be seen on the big screen.
====
ELLY
Well, we did try to make a go for it out in LA. No one took us seriously. Always thought we were talent or auditioning for scenes. So we just kinda started our own thing and reached out to performers who don?t really get much representation. And here we are.